Social Anxiety, just what the hell is it?
Well, for me its the deep rooted fear of what other people think of you – Its mental and emotional pain - Its fear of people regardless of their status, looks, job title, income.. your quite literally afraid of everyone!
There's no escaping it either.. Becoming a Hermit and dropping out isn't an option… in order to do pretty much anything requires you to interact with other human beings… going the supermarket, going to work, going the bank etc..
I suppose there's always the booze to numb the pain.. but that's only a temporary solution.
I personally had crippling social anxiety for years, anywhere there would be people, whether it be family, good friends or strangers, I would feel incredibly nervous & tense, my neck and shoulders would ache… I was constantly afraid of what others thought of me… judging myself, imagining seeing what the people around me saw, I was a complete ball of stress and worry… Public speaking? forget it! Walking up to people (never mind strangers) and asking a question? No way!
Having a conversation with someone (anyone), would make me feel incredibly self-conscious.. I would monitor every single thing about me… the way I spoke, my tone of voice, the expression on my face… then, once the conversation had ended, I would study how I had come across, over and over in my head… sometimes for hours at a time.. dwelling on what had happened and terrified I had made a fool of myself.
In my little world everyone was studying me with a magnifying glass, observing everything about me… if I did something I perceived as wrong e.g. stutter or mumble, I would curse myself over and over again until I was so stressed out I began to feel unwell.
All of this was obviously in my head, the truth was, no one gave a s**t about how I came across… as they where to concerned with themselves and what people thought of them.
Overcoming this required virtually no effort at all… Expensive courses and complex techniques didn't really work, it shouldn't be difficult… usually if someone is saying you need to do this and need to do that… they either don't know what they are talking about or are looking to scam you out of money.
I can only speak for myself and my own experiences, but simply "letting go" can be your greatest cure! But what does "letting go" actually mean? In a nutshell – Stop worrying about the future, stop dwelling on the past & accept and embrace your imperfections… That's it! Begin to love your stutter or your lack of charisma, feel proud of your shyness and introverted personality… You'll feel like an enormous weight has been lifted of your shoulders, you'll wake up and say "oh thank God, I don't have to give a s**t today, I can be myself!"
When you begin to do this the fear and therefore the anxiety begins to leave you… trying and thinking is counter-productive… this may seem like a strange concept for many people, as they are of the belief that you need to work at eliminating anxiety, and that it has to be a long, hard & arduous process… But if you think about it, thinking about your anxiety and attempting to mask it all the time is simply feeding the beast.. Not thinking about it and accepting it will allow it to naturally leave you.
Can you imagine if everyone just let go?? Ego's would be shattered (along with egomaniacs)… Pretentious a** holes would vanish of the face of the earth… there would be a complete revolution of human consciousness!
So stop trying to be like other people and accept you own uniqueness. The last thing we need is more clones! Be brave and be yourself! And remember, you're not alone… there's millions of us (including myself) on the same journey!!
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